[HUMOR] Humor Bahasa Inggris
2 posters
[HUMOR] Humor Bahasa Inggris
by rah_220 Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:13 pm
gua duluan ya
poem for you...my love
I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful,
the grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful,
why doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.
poem for you...my love
I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
The rain makes all things beautiful,
the grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful,
why doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.
rah_220- Moderator
- Posts : 278
Join date : 2008-01-03
Age : 37
Location : Bandung
Re: [HUMOR] Humor Bahasa Inggris
by pamUngKAS Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:21 pm
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his
mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of
the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes
out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What
do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need
it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called
current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his
mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of
the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes
out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What
do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need
it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called
current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
pamUngKAS- Bukan Orang Baru
- Posts : 167
Join date : 2008-01-04
Age : 38
Location : Bandung, West Java, Indonesia, Asia, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe.
Re: [HUMOR] Humor Bahasa Inggris
by pamUngKAS Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:34 pm
Lanjutannya...
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
that I've
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's
performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the
tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same day
and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is
hand."
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
that I've
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's
performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating adonkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the
tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same day
and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is
hand."
pamUngKAS- Bukan Orang Baru
- Posts : 167
Join date : 2008-01-04
Age : 38
Location : Bandung, West Java, Indonesia, Asia, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe.
Re: [HUMOR] Humor Bahasa Inggris
by rah_220 Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:48 pm
One day a little girl was walking home from school. 4 or 5 little boys
asked her if she would climb up the flagpole for a minute. The girl
remembered what her mother had said about those boys wanting her to
climb up the pole.* Her mother said "Don't do it. They only want to see
your panties." The little girl ignored the boys and walked away.
Everyday for the next week, the boys would offer money to the little
girl to climb up the flagpole. On a Friday, the little girl walked home
with a smile and $100. She told her mother where the money came from.
Her mother said, "I thought I told you all those boys wanted to do was
to see your panties". The girl replied, "Don't worry mommy, I tricked
them. I didn't wear any panties".
asked her if she would climb up the flagpole for a minute. The girl
remembered what her mother had said about those boys wanting her to
climb up the pole.* Her mother said "Don't do it. They only want to see
your panties." The little girl ignored the boys and walked away.
Everyday for the next week, the boys would offer money to the little
girl to climb up the flagpole. On a Friday, the little girl walked home
with a smile and $100. She told her mother where the money came from.
Her mother said, "I thought I told you all those boys wanted to do was
to see your panties". The girl replied, "Don't worry mommy, I tricked
them. I didn't wear any panties".
rah_220- Moderator
- Posts : 278
Join date : 2008-01-03
Age : 37
Location : Bandung
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